When a leader cries in public, is it a sign of weakness?
领导者当众哭泣，是软弱的表现吗？
On Jan. 14, 2023, Denmark's Crown Prince Frederik was crowned King Frederik X after his mother, Queen Margrethe II, announced she would be abdicating the throne during her annual New Year's Eve speech.
2023 年 1 月 14 日，丹麦王储弗雷德里克加冕为弗雷德里克十世国王，此前他的母亲玛格丽特二世女王在一年一度的新年前夜演讲中宣布将退位。
After the queen signed a declaration of abdication in a private meeting, the king stepped out on the balcony of the Danish parliament – Christiansborg Palace. In front of a throng of 300,000 people, the king waved, teared up and waved again, before wiping away the tears with his white-gloved hand. He later shed more tears as his wife and children joined him on the balcony.
在一次秘密会议上，女王签署了一份退位声明，随后国王走上了丹麦国会克里斯蒂安堡宫的阳台。在 30 万人的簇拥下，国王挥手致意、眼含泪水、接着再次向人群挥手，并用戴着白手套的手轻轻拭去泪水。当妻子和孩子们走上阳台与他汇合时，他情不自禁又流下了更多的眼泪。
The New York Times, The Washington Post and The Guardian eagerly noted the emotional moment. One Danish newspaper headline simply read, “The King's Tears,” while a Danish celebrity magazine featured a series of images of the king wiping his eyes.
《纽约时报》、《华盛顿邮报》和《卫报》迫不及待地报道了这一激动人心的时刻。丹麦一家报纸的标题干脆写道："国王的眼泪"，另一家名人杂志更是刊登了一系列国王擦眼泪的图片。
In much of the world, tears and masculinity don't mix. Crying can signal vulnerability and weakness, particularly for men in charge. Showing your emotions is viewed as too effeminate.
在世界许多地方，眼泪和男子气概是不相容的。哭泣可能意味着脆弱和软弱，尤其是对于掌权的男人来说。流露自己的情感会被视为过于娘娘腔。
But in Denmark, the king's tears didn't minimize his popularity. In fact, they burnished it: Showing a feminine side is a core part of Danish masculinity.
但在丹麦，国王的眼泪并没有降低他的声望。事实上，他的眼泪让他更受欢迎： 展现女性化的一面是丹麦男子气概的核心部分。
As a native Dane and a psychologist, I've studied Denmark's unique conception of manhood, which contrasts with masculine ideals in the U.S.
作为一名土生土长的丹麦人和心理学家，我研究了丹麦独特的男子气概，这与美国的男性理念形成了鲜明对比。
What makes a man?
什么造就了男人？
Different cultures have different expectations for how men should act, look and express themselves.
不同的文化对男人的行为、外表和表达方式有着不同的期望。
American men are often expected to be tough, strong and stoic. It's important that they don't appear too effeminate.
美国社会通常期望男性表现得坚韧、强壮和刚毅，重要的是, 他们不能显得过于娘娘腔。
Research shows that in Denmark it can be acceptable – even desirable – for men to show a feminine side.
研究表明，在丹麦，男性表现出女性化的一面是可以接受的，甚至是可取的。
In a study on masculinity and manhood in the U.S. and Denmark, my colleagues Sarah DiMuccio and Megan Yost and I found that among young heterosexual men, Danish men were more likely than American men to describe ideal men as being caring, loving, considerate and empathetic, which in the U.S. are usually seen as feminine characteristics.
在一项关于美国和丹麦男性气质和男子气概的研究中，我和我的同事萨拉-迪穆西奥、梅根-约斯特发现，在年轻异性恋男性中，丹麦男性比美国男性更倾向于将理想男性描述为温暖的、有爱心的、体贴的和富有同情心的人，而这些在美国通常被视为女性特质。
Many of the young Danish men in our study celebrated these qualities in their male friends, for whom they expressed deep affection. They recounted long phone conversations and hugs. They'd routinely say, “I love you,” or use heart emojis in their text messages.
在我们的研究中，许多年轻的丹麦男性都赞美他们男性朋友的这些品质，并对他们表达了深厚的感情。他们讲述了自己会和朋友长时间通话和拥抱。他们经常说 "我爱你"，或者在短信中使用心形表情符号。
They didn't seem too concerned about being seen as too effeminate, because they didn't see avoiding being girly as part of manhood.
他们似乎并不太担心被视为过于娘娘腔，因为他们并不认为避免娘娘腔是男子气概的一部分。
Instead, a number of the Danish participants in our study described manhood in opposition to boyhood. Put simply, you are a man when you are no longer a boy.
相反，我们研究中的一些丹麦参与者将男性特质与少年时代对立起来描述。简单地说，当你不再是男孩时，你就是男人了。
This made their manhood seem less precarious: It was seen as purely developmental, rather than something that needed to be constantly reinforced.
这让他们的男子气概看起来不那么岌岌可危：男子气概被视为纯粹的发展，而不是需要不断强化的东西。
丹麦人倾向于把男子气概仅仅看作是一个发展阶段。
In contrast, the American men viewed manhood in contrast to womanhood: You're a man when you're not a woman. For example, we asked one participant how his brothers responded if he did something they deemed unmanly.
相比之下，美国男人将男子气概与女子气概相对立： 当你不是女人时，你就是男人。例如，我们问一位参与者，如果他做了他们认为不够男人的事，他的兄弟们会如何反应。
“By beating (me up) a little bit and calling me a girl,” he replied.
他回答说："他们会打（我）几下，然后叫我小妞。"
The positioning of manhood against womanhood makes it more precarious: It must continuously be reinforced. To the American men in our study, suppressing any feminine qualities, including showing emotion, was one way for them to make sure others saw them as “man enough.”
男子气概与女子气概的对立使得男子气概更加岌岌可危：它必须不断得到强化。在我们研究中的美国男性看来，压抑任何女性特质，包括表达情感，是他们确保他人认可自己“足够男人”的一种方式。
In another study examining masculinity among Danish men, the men said that ideal men should have an emotional side; to them, it was a sign of balance and authenticity.
在另一项关于丹麦男性男子气概的研究中，这些男性表示，理想的男人应该有情绪化的一面；对他们来说，这是平衡和真实的标志。
When the men were asked about a public figure or male celebrity who showed the most acceptable masculinity, many of them even mentioned then-Crown Prince Frederik. They saw him as having a good mix of traditionally masculine qualities – he'd served in the military and is athletic – and softer, more feminine qualities: He is considerate of others, talks about his feelings and is engaged with raising his children. He even picks up his children from day care on his cargo bike.
当被问及最能体现男性魅力的公众人物或男性名人时，许多人甚至提到了当时的王储弗雷德里克。在他们看来，弗雷德里克王储既有传统意义上的男性特质--他曾在军队服役，是个运动健将--又有更柔和、更女性化的特质： 他替人着想，表达自己的感受，并致力于抚养子女。他甚至骑着货运自行车去托儿所接孩子。
The men in the study added that any good father should be more than a provider. He ought to be present, caring and engaged with his children.
研究中的男性还补充说，任何一位好父亲都不应该只是一个供养者。他应该陪伴、关心并参与到孩子们的生活中。
Gender in the land of equality
平等国度的性别问题
Why are there such profound differences in conceptions of masculinity between these two Western nations?
为什么这两个西方国家对于男子气概的理念存在如此深刻的差异？
It could have something to do with the fact that Denmark has some of the highest ratings of gender equality in the world. For example, in 2021, the U.N. ranked the U.S. 44th in gender equality after assessing health outcomes, political representation and workforce participation among men and women. Denmark, on the other hand, was ranked as the most gender equal country in the world.
这可能与丹麦是世界上性别平等程度最高的国家之一有关。例如，2021 年，联合国在对男女健康状况、政治代表性和劳动力参与情况进行评估后，将美国的性别平等程度排在第 44 位。而丹麦则被评为世界上性别最平等的国家。
In the Danish workplace, employees and employers are on more equal footing. Managers tend to wield a participatory and democratic leadership style that is informal, open and trusting. There's an emphasis on a good life-work balance.
在丹麦的工作场所，雇员和雇主的地位更加平等。管理者倾向于采用参与式的民主领导风格，即非正式、开放和信任。他们强调生活与工作的良好平衡。
This leadership style upends traditional notions of masculinity because it focuses on communal values: empathy, collaboration and relationship-building. It contrasts with traditionally masculine leadership, which in psychology is called “agentic leadership,” and which centers on dominance, power and achievement.
这种领导风格颠覆了传统的男子气概理念，因为它注重公共价值观：换位思考、协作和建立关系。它与传统的男性领导风格形成鲜明对比，后者在心理学中被称为 "代理型领导"，以支配、权力和成就为中心。
The U.S. tends to champion more masculine values and attitudes in the workplace. In one experimental study, American men who cried in response to a negative performance evaluation were judged more harshly than women who cried in the same circumstances, because it violated expectations of appropriate masculine behavior.
美国在职场中倾向于倡导更多的男性价值观和态度。在一项实验研究中，因负面绩效评估而哭泣的美国男性比在同样情况下哭泣的女性受到更严厉的评判，因为这违反了人们对适当男性行为的期望。
Royalty in an egalitarian country such as Denmark might seem odd to some people. But King Frederik X, whose role is more cultural and ceremonial, is simply embodying Danish sensibilities.
在丹麦这样一个奉行平等主义的国家里，皇室制度在某些人看来可能很奇怪。但国王弗雷德里克十世的角色更多是文化和礼仪上的，他只是体现了丹麦人的情感。
At his party, he can cry if he wants to – and he'll be all the more beloved for it.
在他的宴会上，只要他想哭，他就可以哭，而他也会因此更加受人爱戴。
