A professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts, Robert feldman has spent most of his career studying the role deception plays in human relationships. His recent book, The Liar in Your Life: How Lies Work and What They Tell Us About Ourselves , lays out in stark terms just how prevalent lying has become. He talked to TIME about why we all need a dose of honesty.
马萨诸塞大学的一位心理学教授罗伯特•费尔德曼,用他职业生涯中的大部分时间研究了"欺骗"在人际关系中所扮演的角色.他最近的一本著作《生活中的谎言：谎言如何欺骗了我们以及它反映出了怎样的我们》毫不掩饰地表述了如今撒谎变得多么普遍.在接受《时代周刊》的采访时,他谈到了为什么我们都需要一剂"诚实"的良药.
Q: What are the main findings of your research?
问：您研究的主要发现是什么?
A: Not only do we lie frequently, but we lie without even thinking about it. People lie while they are getting acquainted an average of three times in a 10-minute period. Participants in my studies actually are not aware that they are lying that much until they watch videos of their interactions.
答：我们不仅会经常撒谎,甚至撒谎时都不假思索.互相熟识的人们之间平均每10分钟会撒谎三次.我研究的参与者们直到看了他们对话的录像,才意识到自己竟然说了那么多谎话.
Q: One of the reasons people get away with so much lying, your research suggests, is that we are all essentially dupes. Why do we believe so many lies?
问：您的研究表明,人们撒了很多谎却没有受到惩罚,一个主要原因是我们本质上都是容易受骗上当的人.为什么我们会相信那么多的谎话呢?
A: This is what I call the liar's advantage. We are not very good at detecting deception in other people. When we are trying to detect honesty, we look at the wrong kinds of nonverbal behaviors, and we misinterpret them. The problem is that there is no direct correlation between someone's nonverbal behavior and their honesty. "Shiftiness" could also be the result of being nervous, angry, distracted or sad. Even trained interrogators aren't able to detect deception at high rates. You might as well flip a coin to determine if someone is being honest.
答：我觉得这就是骗子的优势.我们并不擅长识别他人的欺骗.当我们设法识别对方是否诚实时,我们看到的往往是他们"错误"的非语言行为,进而误解了他们.而问题是,一些人的非言语行为与其是否诚实并没有直接的关联.紧张、生气、心烦意乱或者悲伤都可能被误解为"诡计多端".甚至受过训练的审讯者准确识别欺骗的概率也不高.你倒不如投枚硬币来决定一个人是否诚实.
What's more, a lot of the time, we don't want to detect lies in other people. We are unwilling to put forward the cognitive effort to suspect the veracity of statements, and we aren't motivated to question people when they tell us things we want to hear. When we ask someone, "How are you doing", and they say, "Fine," we really don't want to know what their aches and pains are. So we take "Fine" at face value.
更重要的是,很多时候,我们并不想去识别他人的谎言.我们并不愿意下工夫去怀疑那些言辞的真实性,也不愿意在听到正合自己心意的话时去怀疑别人.当我们问别人"你怎么样"他们回答"嗯,挺好的",其实我们并不想知道他们的痛楚和悲伤,所以我们就相信了表相,认为对方确实"挺好的".
Q: Do you feel deception is a particularly relevant topic to our society?
问：您认为"欺骗"是与我们社会尤其相关的一个话题么?
A: We are living in a time and culture in which it's easier to lie than it has been in the past. The message that pervades society is that it's OK to lie-you can get away with it. One of the things I found in my research is that when you confront people with their lies, they very rarely display remorse. Lying is not seen as being morally reprehensible in any strong way.
答：相比过去,我们生活在一个更容易撒谎的年代和文化里.社会上肆虐的一条信息是,你可以撒谎,而且也不会因此受到惩罚.我在研究中发现的一个现象是,当你当面揭穿撒谎者的谎言时,他们几乎不会表现出自责或懊悔.人们并不把撒谎当做一件在道德上应该大加谴责的事儿.
You can make the assumption that because it often makes social interactions go more smoothly, lying is OK. But there is a cost to even seemingly benign lies. If people are always telling you that you look terrific and you did a great job on that presentation, there's no way to have an accurate understanding of yourself. Lies put a smudge on an interaction, and if it's easy to lie to people in minor ways, it becomes easier to lie in bigger ways.
于是你就会得出这样的假设：撒谎往往使得社交互动进行得更加顺利,因此撒谎也是可以的；但是,即便是善意的谎言也要付出代价.如果人们总是跟你说,你看上去棒极了,或者你的陈述非常棒,那么,你永远都不可能对自己有一个清楚的认识.谎言是人际交往中的一个污点.如果人们撒小谎很容易,那么撒大谎也会变得越来越容易.
Q: You say in the book that recent DNA evidence suggests that 10%of people have fathers other than the men they believe conceived them. So is lying pretty widespread in our intimate lives too?
问：您在书中提到,最新的DNA数据显示,10%的人的父亲并不是他们的生父.是不是谎言也已经广泛传播到了我们的私人生活中了呢?
A: Research shows we lie less to people that we are close to. But when we do, they tend to be the bigger types of lies. And the fallout is greater if the deception is discovered.
答：研究表明,我们对比较亲近的人说谎会少一些.然而当我们真的对他们撒谎时,这些谎言则可能是更严重的谎言.而一旦谎言被揭穿,其后果也将更加严重.
Q: You show how lying is a social skill. Does that mean it's part of an evolutionary legacy?
问：您向我们表明了撒谎也是一种社交技能.那么这是否意味着它是人类演化遗产的一部分呢? A
: I don't think lying is genetically programmed. We learn to lie. We teach our kids to be effective liars by modeling deceitful behavior.
答：我认为撒谎并不是基因遗传的,而是我们后天学来的.我们通过自己典范的欺骗行为教授我们的孩子如何有效地撒谎.
