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暮光之城3: 月食 The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
作者：斯蒂芬妮·梅尔 (Stephanie Meyer) [美国]
即将中学毕业的贝拉陷入两难的境地：她要在爱德华和雅各布中选择一个恋人，而这个选择极有可能引发卡伦家族和狼人族群之间的一场血腥战争。热血沸腾的贝拉宁愿选择死亡以便与爱德华长相厮守。另一方面，雅各布的介入让他们两人的感情差点亮起红灯。当贝拉和爱德华共度在家时，爱德华发现有吸血鬼从贝拉的房间偷了东西。谁也不知道他们的目的是要循着上面的气味寻找贝拉所在的地点。贝拉将过去种种意外联系起来，终于明白来自传说中克兰家族的维多利亚正是操控一切的幕后主脑。为了替死去的詹姆斯复仇，维多利亚正纠集一伙帮凶匆匆赶往福克斯，对爱德华和贝拉的生命造成了莫大的威胁，卡伦家族决定联合狼人族群去应对共同的敌人。冰与火的矛盾不可调和，在爱与牺牲的天平上，贝拉发现她所要奉献的不只是灵魂。
第一章: 最后通牒
Bella,
贝拉，
I don't know why you're making Charlie carry notes to Billy like we're in second grade -- if I wanted to talk to you I would answer the…
我不知道你为什么像我们还是二年级那样让查理捎便条给比利——如果我想要和你说话，我会回信……
You made the choice here, okay? You can't have it both ways when…
是你做出的选择，不是吗？你不能什么都想要，当你……
What part of 'mortal enemies' is too complicated for you to…
“人类的敌人”的哪个方面对你而言太复杂而不……
Look, I know I'm being a jerk, but there's just no way around.
瞧，我知道，我现在这么做很愚蠢，但是，现在没有别的办法。
We can't be friends when you're spending all your time with a bunch of…
既然你大多时候都和一群……在一起，我们就不可能是朋友。
It just makes it worse when I think about you too much, so don't write anymore.
我想念你太多的话只会让情况变得更糟糕，所以，别再写信给我了。
Yeah, I miss you, too. A lot. Doesn't change anything. Sorry.
是的，我也想念你。很想。但什么都不会改变。对不起。
Jacob,
雅各布，
I ran my fingers across the page, feeling the dents where he had pressed the pen to the paper so hard that it had nearly broken through. I could picture him writing this -- scrawling the angry letters in his rough handwriting, slashing through line after line when the words came out wrong, maybe even snapping the pen in his too-big hand; that would explain the ink splatters. I could imagine the frustration pulling his black eyebrows together and crumpling his forehead. If I'd been there, I might have laughed. Don't give yourself a brain hemorrhage, Jacob, I would have told him. Just spit it out.
我用手指一行一行地划过纸上的文字，碰到那些凹痕，他用笔写字时用力过猛几乎把纸都戳破了。我能想象出他写这些话时的样子——他笔迹潦草，横七竖八地画出这些字母，用以宣泄他心中的愤怒，然后一行又一行地划掉那些措辞有误的话语，也许他甚至还会用那只过大的手生气地拧断钢笔。我想象得出沮丧挫败的感觉使他漆黑的眉毛紧蹙在一起的样子。要是我在那里的话，我可能会大笑起来。别让你自己脑出血，雅各布。我会这样告诉他，吐出来就可以了。
Laughing was the last thing I felt like doing now as I reread the words I'd already memorized. His answer to my pleading note -- passed from Charlie to Billy to him, just like second grade, as he'd pointed out -- was no surprise. I'd known the essence of what it would say before I'd opened it.
当我再读这些我已经铭记于心的话语时，我现在最不想做的事情就是大笑。他对我的请求信的答复——那封信通过查理带给比利，然后由比利再给他，这样的送信方式在他看来只不过是像二年级学生一样，正如他所指出的——一点儿也不奇怪，还没打开信笺我就知道上面写的是什么了。
What was surprising was how much each crossed-out line wounded me -- as if the points of the letters had cutting edges. More than that, behind each angry beginning lurked a vast pool of hurt; Jacob's pain cut me deeper than my own.
令我惊讶的倒是被他划掉的一行行文字竟会令我如此受伤——仿佛这些字母上长了刀子似的。不仅如此，每一行以生气开头，但后面都隐藏着汪洋般巨大的痛苦；和我自己的痛苦相比，雅各布的痛苦使我伤得更深。
While I was pondering this, I caught the unmistakable scent of a smoking burner rising from the kitchen. In another house, the fact that someone besides myself was cooking might not be a cause for panicking.
当我正在思考这些的时候，闻到了一阵浓浓的烟熏味儿正从厨房飘过来。另一个房间里，除了在做饭之外，不会有什么事让我惊慌失措。
I shoved the wrinkled paper into my back pocket and ran, making it downstairs in the nick of time.
我把皱皱巴巴的纸塞进裤子后袋，匆匆忙忙地朝楼下跑去。
The jar of spaghetti sauce Charlie'd stuck in the microwave was only on its first revolution when I yanked the door open and pulled it out.
查理扔进微波炉的一罐意大利实心面沙司刚刚转动第一圈，我猛地一把拉开门，把它拖了出来。
"What did I do wrong?" Charlie demanded.
“我做错什么了？”查理问道。
"You're supposed to take the lid off first, Dad. Metal's bad for microwaves." I swiftly removed the lid as I spoke, poured half the sauce into a bowl, and then put the bowl inside the microwave and the jar back in the fridge; I fixed the time and pressed start.
“您应该先把盖子揭开的，爸爸，金属不能放在微波炉里转。”我边说边把盖子揭开，接着把半罐沙司倒进碗里，然后把碗放进微波炉，把罐子放回冰箱，调整好时间，按下启动键。
Charlie watched my adjustments with pursed lips. "Did I get the noodles right?"
查理嘟着嘴巴看着我调整时间，问道：“我的面条做得对吗？”
I looked in the pan on the stove -- the source of the smell that had alerted me. "Stirring helps," I said mildly. I found a spoon and tried to de-clump the mushy hunk that was scalded to the bottom.
我看了看炉子上的平底锅——令我警惕的烟熏味儿的源头就在这里。“翻一翻会更好。”我语气温和地说道。我找了一把调羹，用力把烤焦在锅底的厚厚的糊状面条刮下来。
Charlie sighed.
查理叹了叹气。
"So what's all this about?" I asked him.
“那么，您为什么要做这些？”我问他。
He folded his arms across his chest and glared out the back windows into the sheeting rain.
他双臂抱在胸口，愤怒地凝视着后窗外的雨帘。
"Don't know what you're talking about," he grumbled.
“我不知道你在说什么。”他咕哝道。
I was mystified. Charlie cooking? And what was with the surly attitude? Edward wasn't here yet; usually my dad reserved this kind of behavior for my boyfriend's benefit, doing his best to illustrate the theme of "unwelcome" with every word and posture. Charlie's efforts were unnecessary -- Edward knew exactly what my dad was thinking without the show.
我迷惑不解起来。查理会做饭？他为什么要板着脸孔？爱德华还没来这里呢。通常我爸爸会因为我男朋友而摆出这样的架势，竭尽全力地表现出一副“你不受欢迎”的模样，他所说的每个字、所摆出的每个姿势都表达出这层含义。查理的努力毫无必要——爱德华不用看这些表演就对我爸爸正在想什么了如指掌。
The word boyfriend had me chewing on the inside of my cheek with a familiar tension while I stirred. It wasn't the right word, not at all. I needed something more expressive of eternal commitment… But words like destiny and fate sounded hokey when you used them in casual conversation.
我翻动锅里的面条时想到“男朋友”三个字，这个词儿使我感到一阵熟悉的紧张感，我一不小心咬到了自己的嘴巴。这个词语不合适，一点儿都不合适。我需要某种更能表达永恒的承诺的词语……但是像“宿命”和“命运”这样的词语用在平时的交谈中显得很做作。
Edward had another word in mind, and that word was the source of the tension I felt. It put my teeth on edge just to think it to myself.
爱德华心中有另一个词语，那个词正是我感到紧张的来源，我只要想一想都会让自己紧张得直咬牙。
Fiancee. Ugh. I shuddered away from the thought.
未婚夫——哟！一想到这一点我就浑身发抖。
"Did I miss something? Since when do you make dinner?" I asked Charlie. The pasta lump bobbed in the boiling water as I poked it. "Or try to make dinner, I should say."
“我错过什么了吗？从何时起您开始做晚饭了？”我问查理，意大利面团在开水里上下移动的时候，我戳了戳，“或者是您在试着做晚饭？”
Charlie shrugged. "There's no law that says I can't cook inzz my own house."
查理耸了耸肩：“没有哪条法律规定我不能在自己家做饭。”
"You would know," I replied, grinning as I eyed the badge pinned to his leather jacket.
“您知道得再清楚不过了。”我一边看着他别在皮夹克上的徽章，一边说道。
"Ha. Good one." He shrugged out of the jacket as if my glance had reminded him he still had it on, and hung it on the peg reserved for his gear. His gun belt was already slung in place -- he hadn't felt the need to wear that to the station for a few weeks. There had been no more disturbing disappearances to trouble the small town of Forks, Washington, no more sightings of the giant, mysterious wolves in the ever-rainy woods…
“哈！说得不错。”他摆动身体，把皮夹克脱了下来，仿佛我的眼神是在提醒他衣服还穿在他身上一样，然后他把皮夹克挂在那个他专用的挂衣钩上。他的枪带已经挂在那里了——一连几个星期，他都觉得去警察局没必要佩戴手枪。华盛顿州福克斯的小镇不再笼罩在令人困扰的失踪事件之中了，也不再有人在曾经阴雨绵绵的树林里看见神秘且体形庞大的狼了。
I prodded the noodles in silence, guessing that Charlie would get around to talking about whatever was bothering him in his own time. My dad was not a man of many words, and the effort he had put into trying to orchestrate a sit-down dinner with me made it clear there were an uncharacteristic number of words on his mind.
我静静地戳着面条，猜想着查理会讲出到底是什么事情令他心烦意乱。我父亲不是个话很多的人，他努力让自己配合着我坐下来一起吃晚饭，这表明他脑海里一定有非常多的话要说。
I glanced at the clock routinely -- something I did every few minutes around this time. Less than a half hour to go now.
我习惯性地看了看钟——每天大约这个时候，每隔几分钟我就会这么做——还有不到半个小时的时间。
Afternoons were the hardest part of my day. Ever since my former best friend (and werewolf), Jacob Black, had informed on me about the motorcycle I'd been riding on the sly -- a betrayal he had devised in order to get me grounded so that I couldn't spend time with my boyfriend (and vampire), Edward Cullen -- Edward had been allowed to see me only from seven till nine-thirty p. m., always inside the confines of my home and under the supervision of my dad's unfailingly crabby glare.
下午对我而言是一天中最难熬的时光。自从我以前最好的朋友（和狼人）雅各布？布莱克告诉查理我偷偷摸摸骑过那辆摩托车以来——他事先就计划好这么出卖我的，这样一来我就会被关禁闭，进而不能与我的男朋友（和吸血鬼）爱德华？卡伦在一起了——爱德华只获许在晚上七点到九点之间来看我，而且通常只能在我家里，还要在我爸爸从不困倦的怒目监控下。
This was an escalation from the previous, slightly less stringent grounding that I'd earned for an unexplained three-day disappearance and one episode of cliff diving.
这次是上次不那么严格的禁闭令的升级。我无法自圆其说为什么会一连失踪三天，而且还敢去悬崖跳水，这是我因此而得到的惩罚。
Of course, I still saw Edward at school, because there wasn't anything Charlie could do about that. And then, Edward spent almost every night in my room, too, but Charlie wasn't precisely aware of that. Edward's ability to climb easily and silently through my second-story window was almost as useful as his ability to read Charlie's mind.
当然啦，我在学校还是会见到爱德华，因为查理对此无能为力。此外，爱德华几乎每天晚上都在我的房间里，不过查理对此事并不是很清楚。爱德华轻而易举就能一声不响地从二楼的窗户爬进我的房间，这种本事几乎和他能读懂查理的心思一样有用。
Though the afternoon was the only time I spent away from Edward, it was enough to make me restless, and the hours always dragged. Still, I endured my punishment without complaining because -- for one thing -- I knew I'd earned it, and -- for another -- because I couldn't bear to hurt my dad by moving out now, when a much more permanent separation hovered, invisible to Charlie, so close on my horizon.
尽管爱德华只有下午不在我身边，这却足以令我无精打采，其间的几个小时如此漫长。尽管如此，我还是毫无怨言地忍受着这种惩罚：一来，我知道这是我自找的；二来，我无法忍受现在就搬出去而伤害我父亲，特别是当更加永久的分别就摆在眼前，就近在咫尺的时候，查理看不到这一点，对此也一无所知。
My dad sat down at the table with a grunt and unfolded the damp newspaper there; within seconds he was clucking his tongue in disapproval.
我爸爸哼哼唧唧地坐在餐桌前，然后打开了潮湿的报纸；不一会儿，他就开始清嗓子，发出不满的声音。
"I don't know why you read the news, Dad. It only ticks you off."
“爸爸，我不知道您为什么读报纸，这只不过会让您更生气罢了。”
He ignored me, grumbling at the paper in his hands. "This is why everyone wants to live in a small town! Ridiculous."
他对我的话充耳不闻，对着手中的报纸发牢*：“这就是为什么每个人都想要住在小镇上的原因！无稽之谈。”
"What have big cities done wrong now?"
“现在的大城市都怎么了？”
"Seattle's making a run for murder capital of the country. Five unsolved homicides in the last two weeks. Can you imagine living like that?"
“西雅图正追捕谋*国家元首的逃犯。在过去的两周里，就有五个未逮捕的*人犯。你能想象那样的生活吗？”
"I think Phoenix is actually higher up the homicide list, Dad. I have lived like that." And I'd never come close to being a murder victim until after I moved to his safe little town. In fact, I was still on several hit lists… The spoon shook in my hands, making the water tremble.
“我想凤凰城在*人榜上的排名更靠前，爸爸，我曾经经历过这样的事情。”我从未与谋*案受害者的身份如此靠近，直到我搬到他居住的这座安全的小镇。实际上，我仍然在几个热门的名单之上……我手中的调羹颤抖了一下，里面的水也颤抖起来。
"Well, you couldn't pay me enough," Charlie said.
“好吧，你就是对我说个没完。”查理说道。
I gave up on saving dinner and settled for serving it; I had to use a steak knife to cut a portion of spaghetti for Charlie and then myself, while he watched with a sheepish expression. Charlie coated his helping with sauce and dug in. I disguised my own clump as well as I could and followed his example without much enthusiasm. We ate in silence for a moment. Charlie was still scanning the news, so I picked up my much-abused copy of Wuthering Heights from where I'd left it this morning at breakfast, and tried to lose myself in turn-of-the-century England while I waited for him to start talking.
我放弃省掉晚餐的打算，准备上饭；我得用牛排刀割开一片意大利细面，先给查理，然后给我自己，而他则用驯服的眼神注视着我。查理把沙司倒在他的面条上，然后把它们搅拌在一起。我按照他的方式尽可能地装饰着我自己的面条，打不起丝毫的精神，我们一言不发地吃了一会儿饭。查理仍然在浏览新闻，我一边等他开口说话，一边拿起已经被我翻烂了的《呼啸山庄》，从我早上吃早餐时看到的地方读起，努力让自己沉浸在世纪之交的英格兰。
I was just to the part where Heathcliff returns when Charlie cleared his throat and threw the paper to the floor.
我刚刚看到希斯克里夫返回英格兰的那一段，这时查理清了清嗓子，把报纸扔在了地上。
"You're right," Charlie said. "I did have a reason for doing this." He waved his fork at the gluey spread. "I wanted to talk to you."
“你说得对，”查理说，“我的确有理由那么做。”他朝着黏糊糊的面团挥舞着叉子，说道，“我想和你谈一谈。”
I laid the book aside; the binding was so destroyed that it slumped flat to the table. "You could have just asked."
我把书放到一边，书脊已经破败不堪，整本书都摊平在餐桌上：“您只需要问我一下就可以啊。”
He nodded, his eyebrows pulling together. "Yeah. I'll remember that next time. I thought taking dinner off your hands would soften you up."
他点了点头，眉毛紧蹙在一起：“是的，我下次会记得的。我以为接过你手中做饭的活儿会使你温顺一些。”
I laughed. "It worked -- your cooking skills have me soft as a marshmallow. What do you need, Dad?"
我大笑起来：“这很奏效——您的烹饪技艺使我温顺得像块果酱软糖。您需要什么，爸爸？”
"Well, it's about Jacob."
“嗯，是关于雅各布的。”
I felt my face harden. "What about him?" I asked through stiff lips.
我感到我的脸一下子僵在那里，“他怎么啦？”我嘴唇僵硬地问道。
"Easy, Bells. I know you're still upset that he told on you, but it was the right thing. He was being responsible."
“放松，贝儿，我知道你还在因为他出卖了你而生气，但是他做得对。他那样做是负责任的表现。”
"Responsible," I repeated scathingly, rolling my eyes. "Right. So, what about Jacob?"
“负责任，”我挖苦地重复道，转了转眼睛，“对的，那么，雅各布怎么啦？”
The careless question repeated inside my head, anything but trivial. What about Jacob? What was I going to do about him? My former best friend who was now… what? My enemy? I cringed.
这个漫不经心的问题一直在我脑海里回荡，除了烦琐的事情外，没别的什么事情。雅各布怎么啦？我能拿他怎么样呢？我以前最好的朋友，现在……是什么？我的敌人？我畏缩了。
Charlie's face was suddenly wary. "Don't get mad at me, okay?"
查理的脸突然变得小心翼翼起来：“别生我的气，好吗？”
"Mad?"
“生气？”
"Well, it's about Edward, too."
“好吧，也和爱德华有关。”
My eyes narrowed.
我眯起眼睛看着他。
Charlie's voice got gruffer. "I let him in the house, don't I?"
查理的声音变得更生硬了：“我还是让他进了家门的，是不是？”
"You do," I admitted. "For brief periods of time. Of course, you might let me out of the house for brief periods now and then, too," I continued -- only jokingly; I knew I was on lockdown for the duration of the school year. "I've been pretty good lately."
“是的，”我承认道，“只不过是很短的一段时间罢了。当然啦，您也可以时不时地让我出门一小会儿，”我继续说道——只不过是开开玩笑的，我知道在余下的学年里我都要被关禁闭，“我最近表现还是很好的。”
"Well, that's kind of where I was heading with this…" And then Charlie's face stretched into an unexpected eye-crinkling grin; for a second he looked twenty years younger.
“好吧，那有点儿接近我正准备讨论的话题了……”接着，查理的表情放和缓了些，出乎意料地露齿一笑，眼角都是皱纹；有那么一会儿，他看起来好像年轻了二十岁。
I saw a dim glimmer of possibility in that smile, but I proceeded slowly. "I'm confused, Dad. Are we talking about Jacob, or Edward, or me being grounded?"
我看出那个微笑中暗含着某种可能性，不过我慢条斯理地继续问道：“我给弄糊涂了，爸爸，您在说的是雅各布、爱德华，或者是我被禁闭吧？”
The grin flashed again. "Sort of all three."
那个笑容又一闪而过：“和三者都有那么一点点关系。”
"And how do they relate?" I asked, cautious.
“那么它们是怎么联系到一起的？”我谨慎地追问。
"Okay." He sighed, raising his hands as if in surrender. "So I'm thinking maybe you deserve a parole for good behavior. For a teenager, you're amazingly non-whiney."
“好吧，”他叹了叹气，抬起手臂好像投降一样，“我在考虑也许你因为表现良好获得假释。对于一个青少年而言，你忍气吞声、不发牢*的程度真的令人惊讶。”
My voice and eyebrows shot up. "Seriously? I'm free?"
我的声音和眉毛一下子抬高了：“您是认真的？我自由了？”
Where was this coming from? I'd been positive I would be under house arrest until I actually moved out, and Edward hadn't picked up any wavering in Charlie's thoughts…
这到底因何而起？我一直确信在我真正搬出去以前会一直关禁闭，而爱德华也没有找到让查理动摇的念头……
Charlie held up one finger. "Conditionally."
查理举起一根手指头，说道：“是有条件的。”
The enthusiasm vanished. "Fantastic," I groaned.
突如其来的热情消失殆尽了，“好极了。”我抱怨道。
"Bella, this is more of a request than a demand, okay? You're free. But I'm hoping you'll use that freedom… judiciously."
“贝拉，这与其说是命令还不如说是请求，好吗？你自由了，但是我希望你能……理智地利用这种自由。”
"What does that mean?"
“这是什么意思？”
He sighed again. "I know you're satisfied to spend all of your time with Edward --"
他又叹了叹气：“我知道你整天和爱德华待在一起非常开心，也心满意足……”
"I spend time with Alice, too," I interjected. Edward's sister had no hours of visitation; she came and went as she pleased. Charlie was putty in her capable hands.
“我也和爱丽丝一起玩的。”我插话道。爱德华的妹妹来我们家是没有时间限制的，她高兴什么时候来就什么时候来，查理在她能*双手中就像软面团似的。
"That's true," he said. "But you have other friends besides the Cullens, Bella. Or you used to."
“那倒是，”他说，“但是除了卡伦家的人以外，贝拉，你还有其他的朋友。或者说，你曾经有过。”
We stared at each other for a long moment.
我们彼此凝视着，看了好久。
"When was the last time you spoke to Angela Weber?" he threw at me.
“你上次和安吉拉？韦伯说话是什么时候？”他突然把这个问题抛给我。
"Friday at lunch," I answered immediately.
“星期五吃午饭的时候。”我立即回答道。
Before Edward's return, my school friends had polarized into two groups. I liked to think of those groups as good vs. evil. Us and them worked, too. The good guys were Angela, her steady boyfriend Ben Cheney, and Mike Newton; these three had all very generously forgiven me for going crazy when Edward left. Lauren Mallory was the evil core of the them side, and almost everyone else, including my first friend in Forks, Jessica Stanley, seemed content to go along with her anti-Bella agenda.
在爱德华回来以前，我学校的朋友们分成了截然相反的两群。我宁愿认为那两群是好的对坏的，我们和他们也很合适。好的是安吉拉、她忠心耿耿的男朋友本？切尼和迈克？牛顿，他们三个人都很慷慨地原谅了我在爱德华离我而去之后的种种疯狂举动。劳伦？马洛里是“他们”那一边的邪恶核心成员，几乎其他每个人，包括我在福克斯最早的朋友杰西卡？斯坦利好像也对遵守她那抵制贝拉的安排感到很满意。
With Edward back at school, the dividing line had become even more distinct.
随着爱德华重新回到学校，那条分界线变得更加明显了。
Edward's return had taken its toll on Mike's friendship, but Angela was unswervingly loyal, and Ben followed her lead. Despite the natural aversion most humans felt toward the Cullens, Angela sat dutifully beside Alice every day at lunch. After a few weeks, Angela even looked comfortable there. It was difficult not to be charmed by the Cullens -- once one gave them the chance to be charming.
爱德华的归来使得迈克的友谊中断了，而安吉拉却毫不动摇、坚贞不渝地忠于我们的友谊，本也亦步亦趋。尽管大多数人自然而然地避开卡伦家的人，但安吉拉每天中午吃饭的时候都会恪尽职守地坐在爱丽丝旁边。几个星期后，安吉拉看上去似乎已经感到怡然自得了。不被卡伦家的人迷倒并非易事——只要人们给他们机会让其释放魅力的话。
"Outside of school?" Charlie asked, calling my attention back.
“在学校之外呢？”查理问道，把我的思绪引了回来。
"I haven't seen anyone outside of school, Dad. Grounded, remember? And Angela has a boyfriend, too. She's always with Ben. If I'm really free," I added, heavy on the skepticism, "maybe we could double."
“爸爸，我在学校之外没见过任何人。禁闭，还记得吗？而且安吉拉也有男朋友。她总是和本在一起。如果我真的自由了，”我补充道，语气中带有很浓厚的怀疑口吻，“也许我们可以四个人一起出去玩。”
"Okay. But then…" He hesitated. "You and Jake used to be joined at the hip, and now --"
“好吧，但是那么……”他吞吞吐吐地说道，“你和杰克以前交情很深厚的，而现在——”
I cut him off. "Can you get to the point, Dad? What's your condition -- exactly?"
我打断他说道：“您就不能直截了当一点儿吗，爸爸？您的条件——到底是什么？”
"I don't think you should dump all your other friends for your boyfriend, Bella," he said in a stern voice. "It's not nice, and I think your life would be better balanced if you kept some other people in it. What happened last September…"
“我认为你不应该为了男朋友抛弃所有其他的朋友，贝拉，”他严厉地说道，“这样做很不好，而且我觉得如果你对其他人也敞开心胸，让他们走进来的话，你的生活会更加平衡的。去年九月发生的事情……”
I flinched.
我不禁畏缩起来。
"Well," he said defensively. "If you'd had more of a life outside of Edward Cullen, it might not have been like that."
“好吧，”他防卫性地说道，“要是你和爱德华？卡伦在一起的时间少一些，多一些别的生活，那样的事情也许就不会发生。”
"It would have been exactly like that," I muttered.
“那样的事情照样会发生。”我轻声咕哝道。
"Maybe, maybe not."
“或许是，或许不是。”
"The point?" I reminded him.
“您的意思是？”我提示他。
"Use your new freedom to see your other friends, too. Keep it balanced."
“利用你重新获得的自由也去看看你的其他朋友，让自己的生活保持平衡。”
I nodded slowly. "Balance is good. Do I have specific time quotas to fill, though?"
我慢慢地点了点头：“平衡是好事情。那么，我要填满指定的配额吗？”
He made a face, but shook his head. "I don't want to make this complicated. Just don't forget your friends…"
他做了个鬼脸，但是摇了摇头：“我可不想把事情弄复杂了，只是不要忘记你的朋友们……”
It was a dilemma I was already struggling with. My friends. People who, for their own safety, I would never be able to see again after graduation.
我的朋友们，这也是我一直在挣扎、不知道如何是好的两难处境。我在毕业之后，为了他们自身的安全，那些人是我再也不能见到的。
So what was the better course of action? Spend time with them while I could? Or start the separation now to make it more gradual? I quailed at the idea of the second option.
那什么才算是更好的做法呢？在我能够做到的时候和他们一起度过？或者是现在就开始分离，让永别慢慢地到来？对于第二个选择我感到恐惧万分。
"… particularly Jacob," Charlie added before I could think things through more than that.
“……特别是雅各布。”在我还没理清其他的头绪之前，查理又补充了一句。
A greater dilemma than the first. It took me a moment to find the right words. "Jacob might be… difficult."
这个处境比头一个更让人左右为难，我花了好一会儿才找到适当的话：“雅各布可能……有些困难。”
"The Blacks are practically family, Bella," he said, stern and fatherly again. "And Jacob has been a very, very good friend to you."
“布莱克一家实际上是我们的家人，贝拉，”他说道，又变得严厉而有父亲的威严起来，“而且雅各布对你而言是非常、非常好的朋友。”
"I know that."
“我知道。”
"Don't you miss him at all?" Charlie asked, frustrated.
“难道你一点儿也不想念他？”查理问道，露出无可奈何的表情。
My throat suddenly felt swollen; I had to clear it twice before I answered. "Yes, I do miss him," I admitted, still looking down. "I miss him a lot."
我的喉咙突然哽噎住了，在我回答之前我清了两次喉咙。“是的，我的确想念他，”我承认，不过我还是低着头，“我很想念他。”
"Then why is it difficult?"
“那么为什么会很难？”
It wasn't something I was at liberty to explain. It was against the rules for normal people -- human people like me and Charlie -- to know about the clandestine world full of myths and monsters that existed secretly around us. I knew all about that world -- and I was in no small amount of trouble as a result. I wasn't about to get Charlie in the same trouble.
这不是我能随意解释的事情，像我和查理这样的人类——了解这个神秘世界，这里充满各种各样的神话，还有许多偷偷地生活在我们周遭的魔鬼——这种事情违背了人之常情。我非常清楚地了解那个世界——而且结果我招来的麻烦也不少。我不能让查理也卷入同样的麻烦。
...
转载：http://www.dian3x.com/story/book/4b4458c4-e84d-2d8d-7216-8947c5143800.html?c=toutiao
