和猫熊哥一起精读美剧《老友记》台词快速掌握地道美式英语口语33
116 The One With Two Parts, part 1
116 双胞胎两部曲（一）
[Scene:Rift’s Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey And Chandler are there.]
Chandler: This is unbelievable. It’s been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, you’d be looking like a ham right about now.
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebe’s identical相同的 twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable独特的 manner.)
是令人难以置信,已过了半个小时,如果这是卡通,你应该看起来像火腿一样
Joey: There’s the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss?
女侍在那儿，抱歉，小姐…
(Ursula spins转动 around looking puzzled困惑, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)
Chandler: It’s Phoebe! Hi!
是菲比! 嗨
(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)
Ursula: Hi. Okay,will that be all?
好的。就这样了？
Chandler: Wait, wait! Wh-what are you doing here?
等等，你来这儿干什么?
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now I’m here.
我在那儿你叫我来，所以我就来了
Joey: No, no...how come you are working here?
不，你怎么会在这儿工作?
Ursula: Right,yeah, ’cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
因为这儿离我的住处很近，而且围裙也很漂亮
Chandler: Can we start over?
可以重来吗?
Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. I’m gonna be over here. (She wanders徘徊/漫步 away.)
没问题。那我现在到那边去。
Chandler& Joey: No, no, no!
不不不……
[Scene: A wintry寒冬 February day in New York City,snowplows扫雪机 are clearing the streets. Inside Central Perk, all three girls are paying court to Ross.]
Ross: I don’t know whether he’s testing me, or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control. But, he keeps erasing the messages on my machine,"supposedly按说" by accident.
我不知道它在考验我还是在发泄情绪，我的猴子已失去控制，它不断消除我答录机上的留言应该是个意外
Rachel: No, yeah,I’ve done that.
我做过这种事
Ross: And then,like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did, and peed allover the crossword.
它连续三天在我看报纸前，在猜字游戏上尿尿
Rachel: I’ve never done that.
这我没做过
(Outside in the street, Joey and Chandler arrive, to peer窥视/细看 through the window at Phoebe, by bending down to look underneath在...之下 the shop’s sign—a large steaming cup of coffee.)
Chandler: All right,now look at her and tell me she doesn’t look exactly like her sister.
看着她，告诉我她和她姐长得不一样
Joey: I’m sayin’I see a difference.
我看到不同之处
Chandler: They’re twins!
她们是双胞胎
Joey: I don’t care. Phoebe’s Phoebe. Ursula’s... hot!
我不管，菲比是菲比，乌苏拉很火辣
(Joey and Chandler come in doors.)
Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
我们不是常谈论事情吗?
Joey: Yeah.
当然
Chandler: Let’s not do that any more.
咱们别再干那事了
(They hang up their coats and scarves围巾, then approach their friends on the main sofa.)
All: Hey guys!Hey!
嘿 各位
Joey: Hey Pheebs,guess who we saw today.
菲比，猜我们今天遇见谁?
Phoebe: Ooh, ooh,fun! Okay... um, Liam Neeson.
哦！有趣有趣！嗯……连恩尼逊
Joey: Nope.
不是
Phoebe: Morly Safer.
Morly Safer
Joey: Nope.
不是
Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!
剪我头发的女人
Monica: Okay, look,this could be a really long game.
你们到底要猜多久?
Chandler: Your sister Ursula.
你姐姐，乌苏拉
Phoebe: (Her face dropping) Oh, really.
哦，真的……
Chandler: Yeah, yeah,she works over at that place, uh...
她在那儿工作…
Phoebe: Rift’s.Yeah, I know.
瑞菲餐厅，我知道
Chandler: Oh, you do?Because she said you guys haven’t talked in like years.
你知道? 因为她说你们已多年不说话
Phoebe: Hmmm? Yeah.So, um, is she fat?
对，她胖吗?
Joey: Not from where I was standin’.
从我的角度看不会
Phoebe: (Turning to Chandler) where were you standing?
你从什么角度?
Rachel: Um, Pheebs,so, you guys just don’t get along?
菲比，你们合不来?
Phoebe: It’s mostly just dumb不说话/哑/糊涂 sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking,even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
这只是姐妹之间的事,大家都认为她是漂亮的一个,她先学会走路,虽然我是在当天稍后学会的,对我爸妈而言那已经不新鲜了
Ross: Oh, Pheebs,I’m sorry, I’ve got to go. I’ve got Lamaze class.
菲比，抱歉，我得走了,我得去参加心理助产班
Chandler: Oh, and I’ve got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.
我得去参加地球科学班,健身房见了
Rachel: So, is this just gonna be you and Carol?
你和卡萝两人去?
Ross: No, Susan’s gonna be there too. We’ve got dads, we’ve got lesbians, the whole parenting育儿team.
不，苏珊也要去,那有爸爸，女同志…全部的父母都会到
Rachel: Well,isn’t, isn’t that gonna be weird?
这样不是会很奇怪?
Ross: No, no.(Distractedly心烦意乱 putting on a jacket to go out) I mean, it mighta been at first,but by now I, I think I’m pretty comfortable with the whole situation.
不会的，一开始或许会,但现在我已坦然面对
Monica: Ross,that’s my jacket.
罗斯，那是我的外套
Ross: I know.
我知道
(Rachel grins咧嘴笑/露牙笑 as Ross removes the girlie娘娘腔、女孩的 jacket, grabs his own, and rushes out.)
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio三人 sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, who’s got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross,Carol, and Susan.]
Woman: Hi, we’re the Rostins. Err, I’m J.C., and he’s Michael, and we’re having a boy, and a girl.
大家好，我们姓罗，我是洁西他叫麦可,我们有一男一女
Teacher: Good for you. Alrighty, next?
厉害，下一位
Ross: Hi, um, I’m err, (has to clear his throat) I’m Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carol’s bulge凸/虚胖/胀起) ..that’s, that’s my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carol’s, just, com...(embarrassment finally overwhelms压倒 the poor fellow同伴, who becomes incoherent颠三倒四 until) ..who’s next?
我叫罗斯,我儿子在那儿,她叫卡罗，这位是苏珊,苏珊是卡罗的…下一位是谁?
Teacher: I’m sorry,I didn’t get... Susan is?
抱歉，我不太明白。苏珊是…
Ross: Susan is Carol’s, Carol’s, Carol’s, friend...
苏珊是卡萝的朋友
Carol: Life partner.
好象拍档，
Ross: Like buddies哥儿们.
好象伙伴
Susan: Like lovers.
好象恋人
Ross: You know how close women can get.
你知道女人能有多亲近的
(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately深情.)
Carol: Susan and I live together.
我和苏珊住在一起
Ross: Although I was married to her.
尽管我们两个结过婚
Susan: Carol, not me.
卡萝，不是我
Ross: Err, right.
对
Carol: It’s a little complicated.
有点复杂了
Ross: A little.
有一点
Susan: But we’re fine.
我们还好
Ross: Absolutely.(Turns back to the woman next to him.) So, twins... hah! That’s like two births. (He struggles again.) Ouch.
完全不错，双胞胎？好像要生两次哦，噢
[Scene :Chandler's Office, Chandler is working.]
(Helen’s buzzer is heard on the intercom, so Chandler presses his button, too.)
Chandler: And (he imitates模仿 the buzzer) to you too, Helen.
彼此，海伦
Helen: (Over the intercom) Nina Book binder is here to see you.
妮娜要见你
Chandler: Oh, okay.Send her in.
好的，让她进来
(He hurriedly checks his hair in his computer screen, before taking a sporting trophy奖杯 from a drawer to place ostentatiously夸张 on his desk. An attractive young woman opens the door.)
Nina: Hi.
嗨！
Chandler: Hi, Nina.Come on in.
妮娜！进来
Nina: You wanted to see me?
你想见我?
Chandler: Uh, Yes.Yes. I’ve just been going over your data here, and little thing, you’ve been post-dating your Friday numbers.
对，我刚看过你的资料，有个小问题，你一直填迟你周五数字的日期
Nina: Which is bad, because?
这样很不好，因为…
Chandler: Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack重打/失控.
这样使我的WENUS出现问题
Nina: Your...excuse me?
什么？
Chandler: WENUS.(Coughs咳嗽) Weekly Estimated Net...
WENUS，每周估计净值使用统计……
Nina: Oh, Net Usage Statistics, right. Gotcha, gotcha. Won’t happen again. I wouldn’t want to do any thing to hurt your... "wenus."
净值使用统计…对，明白了！我懂，不会再发生了；我不会做任何事伤害你的…WENUS
(Nina beams 微笑/发送/横梁 flirtatiously调情 at Chandler, who catches her drift漂移, but for once he’s lost for something to say – so she nods her head to tell him that he’s thinking correctly...)
[Scene:Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, and the girls are dividing some Chinese takeout中餐外卖, while the sitcom情景喜剧 Family Matters is playing on the TV.]
Chandler: It’s not just that she’s cute, okay. It’s just that... she’s really really cute.
这不是她漂不漂亮的问题，这是…她真的真的很漂亮
Ross: It doesn’t matter. You don’t dip your pen in the company ink.
都一样，兔子不吃窝边草
(Marcels campers露营 about, interfering with the neatness整洁.)
Monica: Ross, your little creature’s got the remote again.
罗斯, 你的小动物又在玩遥控器了
Ross: Marcel,Marcel, give Rossie the remote. Marcel. Marcel, you give Rossie the remote right now... Marce... you give Rossie the remote...
马修，遥控器给罗斯，马修，你现在就把遥控器给罗斯，马修，遥控器给罗斯
(Marcel points the remote at Monica’s television, pressing a particular combination of keys. The logo SAP appears on the screen, and suddenly the dialogue is dubbed配音 into Spanish.)
Monica: Great.
这下可好
Ross: Relax, I’ll fix it.
别急，我会修好的
Rachel: (Looking at the television) Cool... "Urkel" in Spanish is "Urkel."
酷！Urkel在西班牙文中叫"Urkel"！
Ross: (looking at the remote) How did he do this?
它是怎么办到的?
Chandler: (Looking out at the balcony) So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?
你让圣诞灯一直开着是想让我们 “快乐”一整年计划中的一部分?
(Rachel slowly spins around, finally noticing that the lights have out stayed their welcome.)
Monica: Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Year’s... but obviously someone forgot.
不，某人应该在新年期间把它拿下，但她显然是忘了
Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the re...frigerate冰箱上... (finally noticing Monica’s note stuck to the refrigerator冰箱) How long has that been there?
某人应该写“瑞秋，拿下圣诞灯”然后贴在冰…在这儿多久了?
(Joey enters,looking extremely pleased with himself.)
Chandler: Hey, where you been?
你上哪儿去了?
Joey: I went back to Riff’s. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna金枪鱼 melt and four plates of curly卷曲 fries.
我到瑞佛餐厅去了，我想乌苏拉喜欢我 我只点咖啡，她却端给我鲔鱼和四盘的薯片
Chandler: Score.
有门了
Joey: She is so hot!
她好带劲儿
Chandler: Yeah,listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by err... (he indicates Phoebe, who is helping Ross understand the remote control.)
好的，不过听着，在你做一些乔伊风格的事情前，或许你可以找…
Joey: Pheebs?
菲比
Phoebe: (Jumping up) Yeah?
对
Joey: You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
菲比，我约你姐出去你会介意吗?
Phoebe: Why? Why would you wanna... do that? Why?
为什么?你为何要那样做?
Joey: So that if we went out on a date, she’d be there.
因为如果我去约会时她就会在我身边
Phoebe: Well, I mean, I’m not my sister’s, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, it’s true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, we’ve grown apart, so, um... I don’t know, why not? Okay.
我的意思是，我不是她，呃……没错，我们曾待在同一颗卵子，但我们各自发育，我不知道…有何不可?
Joey: Cool,thanks.
谢啦
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
Ross: You okay?
你还好吧
Phoebe: Yeah I’m fine.
还好
Ross: You wanna watch Laverne y Shirley?
你还要继续看?
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain副歌, yet with a Latin lilt轻快. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin咧嘴笑 as Ross joins in the rhythm韵律.)
[Scene:Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper尿布. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins’ pretend baby, squashing挤压 its head flat. It bleats羊叫声, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Ross: Sorry.
抱歉，
Ross: Hi. Sorry I’m late. Where’s, where’s Carol?
我迟到了 卡萝在哪儿?
Susan: Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. I’ll get the information.
学校有事，老师和家长间的事，你可以走了，我留下来上课
Ross: No... No...No. I think I should stay, I think we should both know what’s going on.
不…我应该留下来，我们两个都该知道这事情是怎么样的
Susan: Oh, good.This’ll be fun.
很好，一定会很有意思的
Teacher: Alrighty.We’re gonna start with some basic third stage breathing exercises, so Mummies,why don’t you get on your back? And... coaches, you should be supporting Mummy’s head.
首先是第三阶段基本呼吸练习，各位妈妈请躺下，教练们支撑妈妈们的头
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
Ross andSusan: What? What? What?
什么?什么?什么?
Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?
我该当妈?
Ross: Okay, I’m gonna play my sperm card one more time.
好吧，我再打一次精子牌
Susan: Look, I don’t see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because I’m a woman.
我不懂为什么只因我是个女人我就得错过教练训练
Ross: I see. So what do you propose to do?
了解，你说该怎么办?
Susan: I will flip翻转 you for it.
掷铜板
Ross: Flip me for it? No, no, no... heads, heads, heads!
掷铜板?不…头…
Susan:(Triumphantly胜利地) On your back... Mom.
躺下吧，妈
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled怀抱 in Susan’s lap like all the other fathers.)
Teacher: Alright,Mommies, take a nice deep cleansing breath.
各位妈妈们，请深呼吸
(Forgetting herself, Susan does the "Mommy" action with Ross.)
Teacher: Good. Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower.
很好，现在请想像你的因到，像花一样绽放着
(Ross comes out of character to glare into the distance.)
[Scene:Chandler's Office. Chandler is playing with a toy as his boss Mr. Douglas knocks and opens the door.]
Chandler: Mr. D,how’s it going, sir?
迪先生，如何?
Mr. Douglas: Ohh, it’s been better. The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
好多了，年度净值已经算出来了
Chandler:And?
然后呢?
Mr. Douglas: It’s pretty ugly. We haven’t seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies.
奇惨无此，70年代之后没这么惨过
Chandler: So what does this mean?
这代表什么?
Mr. Douglas: Well, we’re gonna be laying off people in every department.
每个部门都得裁员
Chandler: Hey,listen, I know I came in late last week, but I slept funny, and my hair was very very &n dash短跑/冲劲;
听着，虽然我上星期迟到,我那天睡姿不良把头发睡塌……
Mr. Douglas: Not you.Relax. Ever have to fire anyone?
不是你，放松,曾经开除某人吗?
[Scene:Chandler's Office, later that day, Nina is in his office.]
Chandler: Nina? Nina.(He goes around his desk to where she is sitting.) Nina. (In pain) Nina.
妮娜
(She sympathetically怜悯地 reaches out to fondle抚弄 the inner thigh大腿 of his left leg.)
Nina: Are you okay?
你没事吧
Chandler: (Looking down at her hand) Yes, yes I am. Err, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, err... please don’t hate me.
当然，我今天叫你进来的原因…请别恨我
Nina: (Taking her hand away) What?
什么
Chandler: (Suddenly bright) Would you like to have dinner sometime?
你愿意什么时间一起吃饭吗
(Nina gasps喘气 in surprise and relief.)
