话题：In some countries，the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future? 在一些国家，父母在教育孩子中扮演的角色，和很多方面，是不同的，为何存在这种差异，在未来父母的角色会有哪些变化?
英文：
Concerning with paternal love and maternal love, we often feel the difference, especially in different countries’ background. In the East Asian countries, fathers traditionally take care of children less and paternal love is more invisible. Mothers are usually busier, and they have great responsibility to look after children in every aspect. In the Nordic countries, the care for children is more equal in fathers and mothers. And this idea is spreading fast.
So in this article, we are going to talk about how the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father and how might parental roles develop in the future.
The love of father is like a mountain, deep and stable; the love of mother is like water, soft and delicate.
A father is normally using his virtues such as powerfulness and responsibility to education children and he is usually full of creations. A mother is very vital in infant period and she gives much of gentle emotions and delicate care.
In China, there is a famous variety show called Dad, where are we Going. fathers alone shoulder the responsibility to take care of the children daily life and complete the interesting tasks. This TV show is popular since we Chinese cannot see much about fathers’ taking care of children. And Chinese traditional value is that the man goes out to work while the woman looks after the house. But the society is changing. Fathers realize that raising children is meaningful and a happy thing. Also mothers need to work hard to earn money for the families so we cannot rely on mothers’ full effort to stay in home.
What is the advantage of fathers’ caring?
First, father’s love is interesting. There is a dad named Wan Li in Nanjing who paints 15 portraits for two daughters in 3 years. The girls are very beautiful in his paintings. The nature and lovely facial expressions and gestures of them can be recorded forever. Also this will enlighten the girls’ art talent.
Second, father can adjust children’s bad behavior in a tremendous way. A father named Chris Illuminati in New Jersey, USA, has a brilliant idea to stop children playing too much with digital devices. He says, “Never take technology away from your kids as punishment. Instead, just take away the chargers because it is so much crueler.”
Third, fathers’ advantage of strength can play a great role in taking care of children. He can lead children to do moresports activities and teach them what bravery is. As to newly born babies, a dad can bath them even better than mothers. More important, fathers should make a pleasant environment for mothers to take care of babies. For example, let mothers feel safe, do more household work and help balance relationships with mothers-in-lawor baby sitters. This point is mentioned in a famous psychology book Babies and Their Mothers by Donald W.Winnicott which will also lead to the next part—mothers’ significant role.
To begin with, mother’s role cannot be replaced when a baby is born. The most important period of an infant is the first few months. So Donald W. Winnicott mentions that a mom just needs to do two things well. One is being a good-enough mom. The other is holding as much as possible. Why should things be simple? Because moms often take too much pressure and worry about doing things a little bit wrong, they are easily to be unhappy. That’s too bad. So just obey the basic two rules and do things by observation and instinct.
Next, mothers’ delicate care is precious to children whenever how old they are. We are touched by mom remembering our taste and our slight requirements. Mothers help children to do decisions such as what classes to take, and also comfort and communicate with them in significant situations such as criticized by teachers at school.
Finally, we gain power and attitude from moms. They teach us how to deal with relationships. Their practice and attitude towards both work and families help us grow up. Their wisdom keeps with us in a lifetime.
Now the trend is families having fewer children than ever before. It is partly due to the material life but more about the reason that fathers and mothers are too careful to raise children. The future trend will be more like things happened in the Nordic countries. Fathers cannot be free from taking care of babies. The corporation of fathers and mothers to raise children is a certain thing. And there will be multiple methods for that corporation.No matter fathers or mothers, the people who can take care of children better will take the job. Hope that we can be really relaxed to figure out our talents and confident to be a parent as learning basic principles well.
中文：
说到父爱与母爱，感觉上是很有差异的。不同的国家可能情况也不同，像东亚国家，父亲传统上照顾孩子比较少，父爱更隐形一点，母亲承担的育儿压力比较大，责任重要，事无巨细。北欧国家可能父母双方的照料更平衡一点，这种观念也越来越广为传播。
所以，本文接下来就分析分析父爱母爱的差异，也来探讨未来父母的角色会如何变化。
父爱如山，深沉稳重；母爱如水，温柔细腻。
父爱整体来看，是用力量、责任等好的品质来引导孩子，让生活充满创意。母爱在婴儿期很特别，给孩子的是细心的照顾还有温柔的感情。
中国有个很火的综艺节目，《爸爸去哪儿》，很多人爱看是因为传统上看不到多少爸爸带孩子的经历。中国的文化传统是男主外，女主内，但是随着时代的发展，主观上爸爸们意识到参与孩子的照料是很有意义、很幸福的事情，客观上全靠母亲来照料现在很难，夫妻双方都需要上班才能挣到够生活的钱。
爸爸带孩子有哪些好处呢？
第一，爸爸的爱经常很有趣。在南京，就有这样的一个爸爸，名叫万里，他用3年时间为两个女儿画了15幅肖像画，记录下了孩子成长的瞬间。画中的女孩们美极了。她们自然可爱的表情和动作被永久记录下来。同时，这也启蒙了她们的艺术天赋。
第二，爸爸纠正孩子的不良习惯，用得方式很妙，美国新泽西州的老爸Chris Illuminati对于纠正孩子玩电子产品，有着搞笑又有独到的见解。他说：“不要用没收电子产品作为对孩子的惩罚；你只需要拿走充电器就好了：没电，才是真正的惩罚。”
第三，爸爸体力的擅长可以给孩子带来很多方便。他可以带着玩更多的体育活动，教会孩子勇敢。爸爸照顾婴儿的时候，洗澡甚至可以洗得更好。还帮助妈妈营造照顾宝宝的良好环境，比如让妈妈觉得安全，多做家务，帮助处理好婆媳关系或者和保姆的沟通。这在《婴儿与母亲》这本温尼科特写的著名心理学书籍中有提到。接下来就说妈妈的重要作用。
首先，在孩子刚出生的时候，妈妈的作用是无可替代的。婴儿出生后最重要的时段——头几个月内，温尼科特提到，最重要的有两点，一是做“足够好的妈妈”，二是多去“抱持”(就是抱着)。这么简化对妈妈的任务是因为她们往往会觉得自己不能出一点错，有时候会给自己压力大，不开心。所以掌握最基本的两条原则就好，更多的是观察和母性的本能就可以把孩子带好了。
其次，母亲的温柔与体贴，无论孩子成长到多大，都很有意义。我们都喜欢妈妈对自己的很细微的照顾，妈妈会记住自己可能随口说的特别细小的要求。饭菜记得自己喜欢的口味，花心思帮助孩子决策，比如比较各种辅导班；还在重要的时刻和孩子谈心，比如在学校被老师批评的时候。
最后，妈妈是我们温柔力量的源泉。妈妈教我们处理人际关系，妈妈对待工作和家庭的态度帮助我们更好地在社会上立足。妈妈的智慧伴随我们一生。
现在有的趋势是家庭里生孩子越来越少，确实有客观的限制，但也是父母都对自己要求比较高的原因。未来的趋势是会像北欧的风格，父亲不承担育儿责任的时代会过去的，越来越是父母双方的配合，而且多元的方式会更增加。喜欢、适合照料孩子的父亲或者母亲都可以去完成自己的理想。希望更多的人能够放轻松，同时把握好最重要的原理，有信心做父母。
（图片来自网络，万里给他的女儿画的两幅画像）
